A Manual for the African American Family
Book Excerpt
Kingdom Quality Relationships
Before forgiveness in the African American culture can take root and sprout, we
must first address individual hurt, anger, and bitterness. African Americans
should realize that our existence in America is one that allows us to effect
change. Our contributions to society are validated no matter how difficult the
challenges are that flow against us. How we view ourselves come from the
experiences and lessons we have learned.
From a spiritual perspective,
we must realize that we are created in the image of God, “and in Him, we live
and move, and we have our being!” When we come to understand that in order to
defeat the deeply embedded issues within our culture, we need access to the
power of God. God is All-Powerful. There is no power greater than His.
Before any of our cultural issues are resolved, we must first take careful
examination of our individual hurt. When people live under a curse unknowingly,
it will only cause damage to the soul of that people. We all are different in
our makeup emotionally, so this is where I have chosen to begin to address
healing within our heritage, and with one another.
When we are hurting,
it can influence us in ways that are not easily seen by the naked eye. Hurt
breeds anger, and in many instances, we react according to how deep the wound or
pain has produced itself in us. The level of our anger is determined by how we
have reacted to the pain our hurt has caused us over years of living life.
Emotion is a delicate characteristic to address, and as human beings we all have
various levels of emotional stability or instability. Depending upon the depth
of your hurt or abuse, the response to how we are treated can cause a reaction
that can devastate us, and those who are in our lives.
Whenever I meet
people that are guarded, I realize there are deep emotional wounds suffered from
life’s experiences, and you can feel their pain as it comes through in
communication, whether in body language or in speech. Although we don’t know how
deep the root of pain that is in someone’s life, it becomes evident when you are
attempting to have dialogue with them. This is where we must be gentle,
understanding they are hurting, and not to cause further damage to their heart.
These are people, who do not have the strength to address their hurt. These dear
ones turn to substances or lifestyles, which may seem to be a way for their hurt
to subside. As one would expect, substances overtakes them, and dependence
becomes a way of life.
There is a great amount of pain in African America. I want to take full responsibility
for what I am about to address next. I will share my feelings about a word that
is so deeply engraved in the soul of the African American heritage, it truly
pains me to talk about this. However, this is only my opinion.
The “N” word is a destructive word that attempts to identify all people of
African American descent. This word is a word that I have lived with for as long
as I can remember. It is a “generational curse” word, which is constantly being
communicated throughout our royal African American heritage, and a word which
causes distrust in the soul of the African American human being
What does
it mean when African American people refer to one another, with a word that was
used by our slave masters to classify us during the time of our enslavement? Why
is this word so widely used by African Americans today, to identify who we are
in jest, and especially when we become angry or provoked?
Each time this
word is spoken, it hurts our royal heritage. This word causes pain to the person
to which it is directed. It hurts the person it was intended to hurt. It also
hurts the cause of African Americans. The use of this derogatory term reveals to
society we still have not overcome the slave mindset as a heritage in America.
This word is something that is so deeply seared in the African American
consciousness, and in the soul of the African American, we must purpose in our
hearts not to speak this word. This word has kept the African American in a
slave mindset, because in our subconscious thought process, this is who we
believe we are. How are we to uproot this word out of our thought process?
When we become angry and enraged and cannot speak intelligently, this word is
the first word that will come forth out of the mouth of many African Americans.
As it has been spoken to us, this word has its birthplace in our hearts from the
slave-masters. This word is designed to hurt and to devastate a person, and
whether you believe it or not, it is true.
As African Americans, and no
matter your level of education and intelligence, this word is in many respects
how other cultures see us. Other cultures seem to believe we act out this word
in our pattern of behavior. Many people of African American descent speak this
term as a normal part of their vocabulary. Many African American people are
offended by the term when it is used, which I applaud.
This is due in
fact that our parents, grandparents and great-grandparents were referred to in
this manner, and this word has taken root in the heart and soul of the African
American people.
Within the mindset of the “N” word, it gives a license to individuals to rebel
against all authority, because deep within the soul of the African American, it
is a negative influence that allows African Americans to perpetrate a “N” word
mindset, acting out the word through actions. This word in its most destructive
usage is meant to deeply wound, and is intended to degrade and cause detrimental
pain to whom it is directed.
Personally, I have been called the “N” word
on more than a few occasions, and it always causes me to think negatively. This
word has continued through many generations of African American people, all the
way to my hearing, where initially we were not the people who first spoke this
word.
In the purist meaning of this word, and the ease for which it is
spoken today, kills the soul of both the speaker, and the hearer. So deep in
fact is this ungodly word, that many people have died as a result of it, and as
this word has meant something different to all of us, it is still killing the
spirit and the soul of our royal African American heritage. If we are to move
into the royalty that I believe all of us are, this word must not continue to
hinder us from growing into the royalty our ancestors gave us through slavery.
In inner-city America, this is the doctrine that exists and many live their
lives believing they are as described by the term. The feeling is this about us,
not in every case but in many cases; African Americans are an unwanted heritage,
and foreign cultures in America believe that we are worthless, and this is shown
by their attitude and treatment of us concerning our heritage.
If we
want respect, it begins with us respecting those who have died in time past, and
have made it possible for us to have the freedom and success we experience
today. We must learn to respect each other, because those who are aged and
experienced in living as African American people, have suffered long enough
through death, destruction, and hatred of family and friends. We must begin to
respect our heritage, respect ourselves and respect those who are making
significant contributions for the furtherance of the African in America.
The classification that was placed on us by slave masters, need not continue to
hinder our mindset today, which many African Americans have fought so hard to
defeat. Isn’t it time for us to stop referring to ourselves as the “N” word.
My question to every African American is this; how can we defeat the “N” word
mindset that has become part of the soul of our heritage? I believe through
forgiveness, we must see each other on a deeper spiritual and intellectual level
than we do today. What I mean by this is that we must see our heritage in a
generational and ancestral design, from the time of our enslavement until now,
and understand that millions of African Americans have been killed
unnecessarily, abused through the slave mindset, and the control of our royal
African American heritage.
I speak this to the heart and soul of every
African American reading this book; we must understand that our ancestors who
were called this word, were in reference to whom the slave-masters thought they
were. The slave-masters didn’t realize they were killing and raping kings and
queens, they thought we were slaves and less than human, when they took us from
our homeland against our will.
We must stop disrespecting our past, and
our ancestors which is destroying the future of our heritage and our
families. We must destroy the yoke of this present bondage that has kept many in
our heritage in perpetual dysfunction. The understanding that we must begin to
obtain is the knowledge of royalty, of purpose, and destiny that has been
designed for each one of
us, because we must realize that our ancestors saw themselves as royalty, in
spite of being enslaved.
Through their sacrifice and death, we now must
begin to envision ourselves with the royalty our ancestors possessed. We should
begin to visualize one another with “Crowns of Victory upon each of our Heads.”
It does not matter the shade of our skin, or what position in life we hold. It
was their sacrifices made under the most monstrous cruelty they endured, and by
the senseless murders and abuses suffered. They paid for our
freedom with their blood, which cries out from unmarked graves, by land and by
sea. When the “N” word is used, we have misunderstood and disrespected every one of them who died for us,
to have the liberty and life we experience today.
Listen, every time we
hear this ungodly term spoken, individually, we should express our displeasure
by giving a “Thumbs Down!” gesture, this signifying, and serving as a reminder,
that our ancestors died over this vicious word! I also believe that through this
gesture; there will begin for each of us, a spiritual connection to them that we
will begin to experience with one another.
